Heaven's Asylum
by lailsm.96
Summary: For us humans Heaven is where we reside after a long fulfilling life, but for the angels Heaven is a very different place. It's a place where they seek help to return to their lives of catering to the needs of you and I. So let's walk through these halls and see who we can find.
1. Chapter 1

They say Heaven is a place where you find comfort, where you finally get your well-deserved peace. Perhaps for humans it is, but for the divine creatures God created- the angels, things aren't quite so pleasant.

They all seem to be in a lot of pain, or are susceptible to feeling the pain of others and taking it all upon themselves to help their subjects and ease their pain. That's why you see that people who believe in God and his army are always at peace, because someone else takes on their pain. Eventually though, that starts to take a toll on those who suffer. After thousands of years of absorbing others' pain, they start to lose their peace and their stability. They become mentally unstable and perhaps dangerous to those they're responsible for. And that's why Heaven opens its doors to these angels, to institutionalize them, try and return them to their former glory so they can go back to their old jobs.

But it's no easy task. Some of the patients refuse to listen simply because their lives in the asylum are much more comfortable than their lives on Earth. The asylum is their safe haven, where they can hide from what drove them there in the first place. Others just stop responding all together, not of free will but their minds and their souls can longer take it, they are too far-gone because of all they had to take on, in other words- damaged beyond repair. Others however are more responsive and those are the ones people like to call "The Warriors" even though by default all angels are warriors, these ones are special. They live through the hardships of humankind and also through their own problems. Those are the ones that Heaven crowns as heroes, but at what cost?

Well the cost is some fancy buildings and great facilities to allow everyone to do the best they could in getting the angels back on their feet, or rather wings. As you walk through on our white tiled floors, everywhere you turn there are doors filled with familiar faces. It can be quite overwhelming at times, but you get used to it. The patients do too. There's a great harmony in the running of the asylum, everyone works together and there is never a dull moment. Between the outbursts of existing patients and the admittance of new ones, no one ever has a second to breathe (not that anyone here needs oxygen because of the whole we're-dead thing).

For the patients it's always difficult at first. They wander around in the gardens or sneak to hidden (well not so hidden, since we always seem to find them) locations all around. The confinement of four walls shock them in the beginning, but somehow they always know this is where safety is and that this is good for them. And eventually we start trying to get them outside rather than staying in the safety of their rooms for all eternity (literally).

Anyway, instead of beating around the bush I should probably introduce myself and those that I've gotten to know working in these halls. Now because of my advanced understanding of angels, you may think I'm one too. But I'm not, I'm just another human being like you. Well not just like you, I guess because you're probably alive while reading this while I got run over by a car and inevitably died. After my death I found that I wanted to help others search for their peace as well. Not all of us are chosen for this task though, there are procedures and tests that you have to excel at before they allow you to enter the asylum. Not anyone can help heal Heaven's finest. Before I started here I didn't know what I wanted, it was more difficult than expected accepting that my human life had really ended and the indecisiveness resulted in me waking up every morning in a different version of my Heaven, none of which seemed to satisfy me. Which is why I came here. Not because I have a great heart even in death, but because I was searching for an asylum of my own. But don't get me wrong, I do leave every once in a while to see how the others are doing (we get roaming rights with the position, it comes in handy when you want to go see friends or relatives, well I guess you never really want to see familiar faces up here) and I've seen the Winchesters in these neck of the woods several times, to everyone's dismay. These boys are the reason behind the wrecks some of our angels have become. I mean if you thought you had a chip on your shoulder, then you know nothing they carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, not even these angels could handle that. Those boys are extraordinary and we all know it, they're frighteningly strong and brave which makes you wonder if they're just human (after some time up here though, you stop underestimating the human race). We have hunters up here but no one is like them, not even their old man. Whenever they're up here they do tend to come to the asylum check on the patients and make sure everyone's alright. Which is pretty generous of them considering their busy schedules of trying to save the world one poltergeist at a time. I think they probably feel bad about our latest edition, their angel Castiel. We aren't quite sure what's happened yet as no one has had the patience to coax it out of Castiel himself, and we haven't seen the Winchesters in a while to really know what happened, all will be revealed soon I'm sure. But for now we just have to assume that it was too traumatic and he could not handle it on his own. I guess we all need a little help every now and then, but don't worry Winchesters your angel will be up and running soon enough.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: This doesn't have a distinct plot just yet, however if you do enjoy reading it or if you find grammatical errors please leave a review. Thanks! **

Besides Casitel, we have a lot of other angels that you may be familiar with. Chuck (am I allowed to call him Chuck? Well I suppose so) has been very vocal about the popularity of this angel and his vessel. The following of Chuck's books are all quite concerned about his whereabouts.

So let's go see him then. Right down the hall, first room to the left. But don't wake him, he's tired. While we're here though, let me tell you about Michael.

After he and his little, rebellious brother Lucifer had their little fall out (and by little I mean the apocalypse) they were both stranded in the cage together for what seemed to Michael a thousand years. A thousand years with Lucifer is no walk in the park. Chuck being a merciful and loving father decided that perhaps Michael had suffered enough and he couldn't be more right. When he fished out Michael (and his vessel Adam) the both of them were in such a state of shock. Michael was then returned to Heaven and Adam was given the choice to either remain on Earth or go to up to Heaven, he decided he had suffered enough as a human and deserved some rest.

Upon Michael's arrival Heaven was celebrating, we thought he was lost forever and we feared that he was corrupted by his brother's ideas. However what returned to us was much worse. Michael was severely depressed and without a doubt, was going to need a very long time to truly feel like himself again. Not only were his wounds emotional but he had several physical wounds. His wings were broken, some of his eyes were blind. He who was once a great creature (I haven't actually seen him in his former glory but I have seen vivid visions of him) is now a broken down child in need of a lot of help and support. Chuck suggested that maybe we should let him heal physically first before we tried to treat him emotionally. Of course the angels agreed that their brother was in such a state that we should probably hold of treatment and allow him time to find himself before we went searching with him.

For the first few weeks that's exactly what we did. He regained his physical strength but he never left his room, hardly even moved from his bed. It was tragic, to see one of the most active spirits so worn down and torn until he was almost unrecognizable (don't worry though, Lucifer didn't fair much better). No one dared to cross the threshold of his room until we got the okay from Chuck. One day, he came down the asylum to check on his son and he was quite surprised by the state he was in and demanded that treatment should start at once. The asylum was a abuzz with action of us all trying to make arrangements to get Michael back on his feet, and yet no one ventured inside. So I eventually decided to take it upon myself to be the one who makes the first step, I opened the door and went in. Michael laid in his bed mumbling to himself and as I sat down he opened some of his eyes to look at me. He seemed distrustful and asked who I was.

"My name is Florence," I replied.

"You're not an angel are you?"

"No I'm not, but I could call one if you want. I'll-" but he cut me off and asked if I could stay a while. Of course I said I would, but that didn't mean I wasn't afraid of him. I've heard the horrible things about humans who have seen the full glory of the angels, but Michael was too broken down to truly harm me.

"Are you okay?" as the question left my lips I realized how ridiculous the question was. _Of course he's not okay you idiot, he just spent a thousand years in Hell _I thought to myself. But Michael actually seemed to appreciate my concern and a small smile played on his scarred lips.

"Not really. But thanks for asking," He then tried to sit up slightly so he could see better. His eyes took in his surroundings as if it was the first time he saw his room, it was quite a plain room I guess, very simple furniture- a bed, the chair I was sitting in and a huge window for him to see the outside.

"I'm sorry for making you do this, I don't mean to be a burden. This is all my fault and you shouldn't have to take care of me. I'm really not worth it," he whispered.

"Michael, you have nothing to be sorry about. It's not like you meant for this to happen to you. You did what was right and saved all of the human race. If that's not something to be proud of then I don't know what is!"

My words didn't seem to deter his feelings of worthlessness and guilt, his eyes showed as much. I felt so sorry for him and of course my knowledge of how to treat depression of such a severity was limited to my human understanding. But before I could excuse myself to go find some help, Michael was asleep again. I quietly snuck out the room and went down to speak to someone who could help.

Everyone I turned to had said that I should speak to him and find out more about how he was feeling and what he thought would be best to rid himself of these horrible thoughts and feelings. Over the next few weeks that's exactly what I did. He confessed that he felt like his father no longer needed him and that humanity could do without him since he's already fixed their biggest problem. But of course that wasn't true, Chuck still had so much planned for his son and he needed him back on track. Which obviously lead us to wonder why Chuck wasn't intervening and helping Michael himself. We eventually understood that perhaps Michael needed a little bit more time to rest and that's why Chuck left him in our care.

A schedule was worked out so that we could get him back on track without having to use Heavenly antidepressants (yes those exist, they're kind of like the human ones but much more powerful because we're dealing with a power plant rather than humans). Each had a shift worked out so that no one had to be fully responsible for Michael, we all shared the responsibility (Heaven is so great). In the mornings someone would take him out for a walk around the premises and sometimes Michael would feel like visiting some of his favorite humans, so they'd go around Heaven visiting the humans that Michael held dear and near to his heart. Of course the Winchesters were on that list, despite all that they put him through Dean Winchester is Michael's true vessel. So whenever the boys are just passing through Michael makes the effort to go see the brothers. Seeing them seemed to ease the guilt Michael felt, though no one was sure why he felt so horrible and he couldn't explain it either.

As the weeks passed Michael glowed stronger and a smile returned to his face, not the masochistic smile we all saw before but one that was more genuine. He certainly is one of the asylum's success stories. After we saw huge improvement in his attitude, Chuck was informed and he then came and took Michael to heal him. Now we hear that Michael has been down on Earth on a mission from his father and is managing well. He does come by every once in a while to check on his little brother. I guess he still feels guilty for not being able to help Lucifer but the guilt doesn't consume him like it did before.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: Hi, I know there is like one person who actually reads this but anyway since I've gone back to school and stuff I'll be even worse at actually UPDATING the story. Anyway, bear with me I know this isn't the best writing but this is my first time I got the nerve to publish my work for other people to read.**

So after reading such a wonderful recovery about Michael, I'm sure you're expecting some drama. Of course Heaven's Asylum must deliver. Lucifer's case wasn't quite the same smooth sailing we wished for. But like I said before, some angels have it easier than others.

So Lucifer came in on the same day Michael did of course. Everyone in the asylum was reluctant to bring him in, because you know, he's Lucifer- the Devil and all that. Of course we were all scared too. What if he corrupts us and we fall? What if he kills us in a rage against his brothers? There were lots of speculations about whether or not just talking to him can cause one to fall from Heaven. Not even the bravest of us were willing to try. As the days went by though, we did realize that perhaps Chuck would want us to try with his son. Just because he rebelled doesn't mean that Chuck loved him any less, so we took on the challenge. Well those who are my superiors, I didn't really have anything to do with Lucifer's non-recovery.

I don't quite know how to explain Lucifer to you. I think the closest you can ever get to describe him is Heaven's Kurt Cobain. His life was too much for him and he tried so hard to please those he loved, but in the end the pressure was too much. So now he's in our suicide wing, where he's under surveillance 24 hours a day and everything around him cannot be used as a weapon. We've also confiscated the weapons of those who come visit him, but frankly there aren't that many. Chuck comes around every once in a while and Michael just stands at the window and watches his little brother.

The count of the number of times Lucifer has tried to kill himself while in the asylum is almost 457 times (we have a tally in the staff room). Even though the gaps between each attempt is widening, we never really know when he's going to try it next or how he's going to do it this time. He gets more creative each time, more determined as well.

The psychiatric team has tried to figure out how to convince him not to try anymore and how there is always another chance for the redemption for him, but he seems to think that there is no hope for him and Heaven is no longer his home. His father certainly has tried to convince him otherwise, but my personal belief is that once you've been disconnected for so long from your home and your family and your true self, you seem to lose that part of yourself and you become whatever it was you created for yourself.

So you probably want to know how Lucifer has tried to kill himself in previous attempts, but if I tried to recount every single attempt we'd have to write a whole saga of books. I guess you do deserve to know at least the first and last attempts, so I'll try and recount those that caused the most havoc at the Asylum.

**Attempt 1:**

I think this first attempt was on the actual day he arrived at the Asylum. The whole place was buzzing with excitement, we finally got new truly damaged patients (we're not sadists, it's just boring being dead)! We probably should have kept a better eye on him but everyone was a little too scared and thought that perhaps we should see if Michael needs anything. We definitely did regret the lack of support we showed Lucifer. He's just as important as his brother and far more dangerous to himself and those around him (by the way this story completely justifies why we were so scared of him).

So as you probably know, the angels were created to support the human race- which is exactly why Lucifer fell. He did not want to obey those who are too weak to help themselves, he also didn't understand us. What better way to take your own life than in front of one of those who caused you to lose everything? He wanted us to see him suffer and feel bad about it. Well not all of us, he had his eye on just one of us. Maggie. Poor Maggie, she never even saw it coming. One moment he was hissing quietly in his room and the next moment she was angel zapped into his room, with him hissing in her face. If that image doesn't horrify you, then I don't know what would.

Anyway, he then handed her an angel sword and tried to have her stick into his beating heart. Her horrified screams were the only alarm bell we needed. Brigades of us rushed into the room and pulled her out. No one knew where he got the sword from but we assumed he took it off Michael.

**Attempt 457:**

This was not quite so theatrical as the first. He seems to be getting tired and growing weaker every day. I guess even for an angel attempts to end your own life takes it out of you. Of course he used an angel blade as well, as they're the only known weapon to kill angels. We aren't quite sure how he keeps getting a hold of one, we think he angel zaps himself out of the Asylum and steals one. You're probably thinking that our asylum is a failure security wise, but we're working on it. Anyway, one morning after breakfast after his room had quieted down from the plates being bounced off walls and forks flying at heads he seemed to calm down and retire to his bed to sleep. Well so we thought. He had other plans, which included him stabbing his own heart out with a sword. He tried to of course, but he's on 24-hour surveillance so we just rushed back inside took the sword out of his hand and consoled him, as per routine.

It does seem that we've been desensitized about the whole Lucifer's suicide thing, but I think it's become quite routine. He's stopped being creative (thankfully!) so you know; you rush in, pin him down, take the sword, wonder where he got it from and then you comfort him by saying kind words.

So for now we just have to keep an eye on him- oh I think someone's calling. It's Lucifer again, okay time to get to work.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: I'm pretty happy to be talking about our favorite angel (besides Cas) in this chapter, so I hope you enjoy! And I'm also really sorry if I've gotten some facts wrong about mutism, I just used the research I found while searching the corners of the Internet. Also I have no idea when my next update will be.**

Sorry I left so suddenly, but I have a free moment now. So let's talk about another success story, Gabriel an archangel, one of the most powerful warriors and one with the best sense of humor. He was admitted here a year or two ago (time is sort of strange here, not quite as definite as on Earth), he stayed with us for a few months. It was heartbreaking seeing the light blown out of his eyes, seeing his face droop with misery- almost like a kicked puppy. It was such a drastic change from the first time I had met him, he was lively and funny and even though he seems mischievous he definitely had good intentions at heart. He never truly meant any harm, but perhaps he felt a little guilty for tormenting his brothers and that's why whenever we had a new patient he would be the first to come knocking on our door, making sure they were all alright.

Unfortunately none of them returned the favor when he was with us. Never had anyone come knocking on our door demanding to see Gabriel. Was it because they didn't love him? Or was it because they didn't forgive him? Don't worry though, Chuck definitely did send his regards. The positive thing is that Gabriel wasn't exactly himself; he didn't acknowledge anyone or even utter a good morning to any of the nurses. Almost like he wasn't really there, his mind was elsewhere so he probably didn't really realize that perhaps his siblings were being quite neglectful.

People in such a terrible state are usually just left to be until the finally took their last breath, but not Gabriel. Like I said, he's Heaven's strongest warrior so a little mutism was not going to let him down. Basically mutism is a side effect of shyness or severe social anxiety, but easily coexists with other disorders such as ADHD, which I think Gabriel has been diagnosed with. He's an outgoing, loud guy who speaks his mind and he won't sit still for longer than 23 seconds. We still aren't quite sure what broke him though. Perhaps dying is a pill that's hard to swallow, even for an angel. He took too many risks and messed with too many people, which eventually left him with a lot of blood on his hands and targets painted on his wings. So when it eventually happened, when he finally died, it was hard. I also hear that when he died he was sent to purgatory, now being human I've never actually gone to purgatory but I can imagine the horrors of a huge unknown void filled with creatures of every blood gunning after you. There is nowhere to hide and those who make it out alive are the true heroes. However there is no guarantee that you will ever recover from such a horrific experience.

I think that's what Gabriel's problem was. He would often have flashbacks of the time he spent there, but they felt more vivid than mere flashbacks- they felt real. We aren't quite sure how he got out since the only known souls to have escaped are three: Dean Winchester, Benny and Castiel. It's no real surprise that Dean left without a scratch, anyone who's been to Hell and has his ass saved from perdition can literally be torn apart limb from limb and sown back together using a machine gun filled with needles and thread and still be perfectly fine in the morning. Castiel of course being Sam and Dean's angel has had to carry around all their problems on his shoulders- so purgatory for him was just another day of being Castiel. Benny being an honest man who never let go of his values even after becoming a vampire was also able to save himself. So how did Gabriel get out? Only Chuck knows.

The first few weeks of his being with us was a true struggle, not just for him but for us as well. None of us had really seen anyone quite so run down, considering where we work and where we live that is quite telling of Gabriel's condition. He truly did not seem to possess the will to carry on, he just wanted to quietly lie down and die. In the morning whenever any of us tried to talk to him, his eyes would glaze over, not a single word registered in his mind. He was trapped elsewhere.

As the days progressed though you could see the true struggle of trying to find his voice. Everyday we each would go into Gabriel's room and sit with him for hours on end updating him about what's going on in Heaven, people he might have known and how they've finally found peace. We'd tell him stories about his brothers and sisters' adventures and the people they've met and helped out. Sometimes we'd also slip in stories about his own adventures, in the hope of reigniting his desire to go out there and do his job. After every session with Gabriel, we could hear him wailing and crying with the need to find his voice again. The sounds were so heartbreaking because there was nothing we could do as individuals; some of us couldn't even find our voices let alone help someone else find theirs. But his struggle meant that he was on his way to recovery. He knew there was a problem and he wanted to fix it himself.

Progress was certainly slow. If memory serves, it actually started after one of my sessions in week 7 of his stay with us. I had just finished talking with him (or rather at him) when I heard someone call my name. I got up, said my goodbye and just before I closed the door I heard the faintest 'bye' escape from his lips. I ran up and down the halls telling everyone that would listen:

"GABRIEL SAID GOODBYE TO ME GUYS, HE DID IT."

The entire Asylum was abuzz with excitement, everyone was telling everyone the news until the news eventually reached Chuck who came down to the Asylum to see for himself. The sight that greeted him was a thousand times less grim than what he saw the first time he was here.

After Chuck's visit, Gabriel started to improve a lot faster. He said good morning whenever anyone entered for their morning session with him, and he laughed or offered up a little sarcastic comment throughout the conversation. Soon he was back to normal and after another visit from Chuck we got the okay to release him.

Releasing a patient is always bitter sweet. On the one hand you're so glad that these angels are going to go back to normal, returning to Earth and keep an eye over your loved ones. But on the other hand, we do get quite close to these angels and we love them and knowing that we won't be seeing their beautifully divine faces everyday is hard on some of us. However Gabriel is one angel that holds what we did for him dear and near to his heart, he comes by whenever he can to thank us over and over for what we did for him. So if any of you think the Trickster has got nothing but tricks up his sleeve. Think again.


End file.
